Sick at Hogwarts
by Death'sAngel18
Summary: After becoming sick at his abusive relatives, Harry is taken to Hogwarts where he infects Snape, McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey, and Draco Malfoy. They all have to take each other but what will happen when they find out Harry's secrets? SLASH DM/HP
1. Numb Wishes

**Sick at Hogwarts**

_**Author's Note: This takes place sixth year. Read, enjoy, review.**_

**Warning: Child abuse, language, and yaoi, rape, self-harm.**

**Disclaimer: In own nothing!**

**Chapter One: Numb Wishes**

**Harry's Pov**

**Thunder rumbled above me, ringing in my ears as I crouched down on the ground, in the muddy grass ripping out weeds from my Aunt Petunia's perfect garden. It was around ten P.M and here I was in the pouring rain, on the wet muddy ground, probably catching a cold all because some stupid judges were coming to look at the garden in some stupid garden contest.**

**I scowled at the weeds I was ripping out, my head already starting to hurt from a headache. After another hour, I was thoroughly drenched in ice cold water, blown aside by harsh wind, and startled millions of times by the thunder overhead but I had finally finished weeding the garden.**

**I got up, my back cracking and I winced in pain and slowly made my way to the back porch hoping my aunt would let me in. I knocked and she opened the door, leaving the screen closed.**

"**What?" She snapped irritable, glaring at me.**

"**I'm d-d-done, can I come inside?" I asked shivering in the cold temperature.**

"**Of course not you moron, your muddy and wet! Sleep outside until you learn not be so messy you little freak!" She shouted at me and slammed the door closed in my face.**

**I sighed, already knowing this was how the conversation was going to turn it. Still the anger churned in my stomach like molten lava. I felt the wind swirl around me and I couldn't tell if that was my magic becoming unstable with my anger or just the storm around me. It didn't matter I was still cold from the inside and burning with rage from the inside.**

**I trudged over to the backyard and sat down under the largest tree, where the raindrops hardly fell, because of the thick cover of leaves and branches above me.**

**It wasn't long before I started coughing and I rolled my body from side to side under the tree, restless. My lungs were burning inside my chest and it seemed I coughed, hacking, body shaking coughs every second. I felt horrible.**

**It wasn't long before tears welled up in my frustrated eyes and streamed down my face. I stared up into the heavy oak branches and wished my godfather was still alive so he could save me from this hell I lived in. If he were alive he'd be able to take care of me.**

**If only, if only I hadn't killed him. Tears dripped from my eyes faster. Everyone kept telling me it wasn't my fault but deep inside I knew. Sirius would be alive today if I hadn't gone to the Department of Mysteries looking for him.**

**I deserved all of this, it was punishment for killing my godfather.**

**Depressing thoughts overtook my mind and as I let the tears pour from my eyes and mix with the rain. I felt my control slipping away on my emotions. Suddenly I couldn't breathe and my body was shaking uncontrollably. My head burned and I wished it would all just go away. My emotions, the pain, my thoughts, my life.**

**I lay my head on the wet ground and let sleep overtake my overly tired body. Sure enough that night I dreamed of Sirius again, his death flashing before my eyes torturing slow. It was the same dream every night, but tonight something new added. Just before he fell before the veil he looked directly at me and asked me why I killed him. Hate and betrayal burned in his eyes and I knew that image would haunt my mind forever.**

**XXX  
I woke to the sounds of birds chirping and I lifted my head off the ground, momentarily puzzled as to why I was outside then I remembered last night. My head ached, my body was sore, and I could barely breathe with out coughing.**

**I got up shakily and headed to the back porch to see a pile of old, rags out there to dry myself off with. I dried myself off, wondering why Aunt Petunia couldn't have just let me dry off last night and come in.**

**The rest of the day passed smoothly as I did my chores and hid in my room while the judges judged the garden. It was at the end of the day when my day finally turned worse.**

**I was in my room, staring out the window, dreaming of Hogwarts like I usually do during summer when my uncle burst into the room, his face purple and red with rage.  
"BOY! HOW DARE YOU! MY PETUNIA LOST THE GARDEN CONTEST BECAUSE OF YOU! SHE ONLY CAME IN SECOND PLACE!" My uncle roared grabbing me by my hair and throwing me to the ground.**

**I winced in pain, as the fall shook my sore and sick body. I didn't say anything and I didn't argue. It only made things worse when I argued with him. I knew it wasn't my fault that the garden didn't win but my uncle's world would fall apart if he didn't find someone to blame.**

**My uncle kicked me hard in the side and I felt the air rush out of me. The ominous crack as a rib broke rang through the air and fire shot up my chest and I had to struggle not to cry out in pain.**

**I watched with terrified eyes as he unbuckled his belt and raised it high. It came cracking down, the leather slicing into my side, the metal buck tearing open my flesh, tasting my blood, the crack of the belt filled my room and with each cut the pain in my body intensified to the point where I was wishing that he would finally end it all. But no, of course not. My Uncle wasn't that merciful1, he wouldn't kill me yet, not even if I begged.**

**The torture didn't stop there, he threw down his belt and with a twisted smile he retrieved a razor sharp pocket knife from his pocket. This was probably his favorite part of the torture. He grabbed my arm, twisting it painfully to reveal my wrists. White, pink, and red scars scattered over my pale wrists. Most of them from him, but some now and again were mine.**

**He took the knife and dragged it against my skin, creating a long, bleeding cut. He made short ones all up my wrists and finished by carving freak into my wrists with the tip of the knife. He always finished by carving freak in my arm. Guess how many scars said freak on my arm?**

**But when he dropped my wrist he still wasn't done. This was the part I feared the most, the part that made me wake up in the middle of the night screaming. The part I could tell no one about. The part I was to ashamed to admit to myself that it ever happened.**

**My uncle unzipped his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers and he ripped down my own jeans and boxers. He grabbed me by my hair and lifted me so I was sitting on my knees in front of him. He shoved my face to his dick with a warning look. Hesitantly as always my mouth latched onto his dick and he started to move my head back and forth so I was sucking on his erection.**

**Tears burned my eyes and I struggled to keep them in but they ended up spilling down my face like always. I hated being this weak in front of my uncle. I hated when he made me scream in pain and when he made me break down into sobs.**

**His hands trailed down my body, touching me. His rough fingers leaving bruises and the occasional scratch. I hated him, I hated this. I hated being touched!**

**He moaned above me and suddenly tossed me onto my bed, on my stomach and climbed on top of me and without warning thrust his erection into me. I screamed out in unexpected pain at the intrusion and like a dog in heat he kept thrusting quickly and harshly.**

**I sobbed into the white sheets as my uncle raped me, my body shaking with sobs and pain as he entered me again and again. **

**His hands rubbed down my body roughly and after a long time he was finally done. He left my room with me on my bed, brokenly sobbing, bleeding, and coughing each second in between.**

**I pulled on my clothes after a long time and sat up, looking around. Blood stained my floor but that wasn't unusual.**

**On the floor was my Uncle's pocket knife. I grabbed it quickly and opened the blade. I sliced it quickly down my wrist felling instant relief. The emotions inside my battered body drifted away and I was left with only the physical pain to deal with. But it was all bearable I had learned to live with physical pain for years, but the emotional pain, that was just to much to deal with.**

**I cut deeper and faster and finally dropped the bloody knife to the floor, feeling dreamy. I watched my blood roll down my arm, feeling numb. I was focusing on the pain in my arms and it distracted me from the pain in my chest and back from the belt and the ache of my sick body.**

**I stretched out on my bed, loving the numb feeling that coursed through my body. I let sleep take me again, once again I dreamed of Sirius.**

**But when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, I still had the knife and the numb feeling stayed with me. Maybe I would be okay, or hopefully I might die in the night and never wake up again. If only wishes really could come true.**

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	2. Savior

**Sick at Hogwarts**

_**Author's Note: This takes place sixth year. Read, enjoy, review.**_

**Warning: Child abuse, language, and yaoi, rape, self-harm.**

**Disclaimer: In own nothing!**

**Previous: But when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, I still had the knife and the numb feeling stayed with me. Maybe I would be okay, or hopefully I might die in the night and never wake up again. If only wishes really could come true.**

**Chapter Two: Savior**

**Harry's Pov**

I woke up to the sun shining in through my window and birds chirping a sweet song in the morning air. It seemed so normal and perfect, I wish I could be as happy as the morning was around me. It seemed I had only got sicker in the past day and my head had never felt worse like there was constant rock concert going in my head, or a banshee was screaming in my ear.

My throat was raw and scratchy and my eyes were glazed over and watery. My stomach was churning dangerously and as I stood up I felt the familiar tell tale signs and I raced out of my room, thanking whatever god was out there that my uncle had not locked me in.

I slammed the door shut in the bathroom and collapsed to the floor of the bathroom and spilled the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I sunk down onto the cold tile floor, feeling worse then I had when I woke up.

I flushed the toilet and went back to my room to fall onto my bed, sweating feverishly. I distantly heard my door opening and I sat up, opening my eyes into slits to see my aunt walk in with a plate of two pieces of stale bread and a glass of water, most likely from the hose outside.

"I'm not hungry." I told her weakly, my voice sounding far off and gravelly. She looked at me weirdly and narrowed her eyes.

"Eat, I don't want you starving to death and having those freaks come after me and my family." She snapped coldly.

"'m sick," I mumbled pushing away the plate when she set it down on my bed. She huffed in irritation.

"Fine starve!" She yelled and stormed out of the room. I picked up the glass of water and gulped it down quickly. It didn't relieve the burning feeling in my throat but at least my throat wasn't that dry anymore.

Slowly I let my eyes slip closed and I fell into more feverish dreams.

**XXX**

**Severus's Pov**

"Severus, my boy! Please, come in. Lemon drop?" Dumbeldore asked me as I walked into his office, holding out a bowl of lemon candy. I glared at the bowl.

"No thank you Albus. Why have you summoned me?" I asked him wearily, knowing it would be some tedious job and I had my hands full. I was getting Draco settled in a spare room in the dungeons with me since he had run away from his father's house, half dead from abuse.

"Well Severus, I know you have much to do with Draco but I have a rather important job for you." Dumbeldore explained in a grim tone. "You see it's about Harry. I know you two have your differences but he hasn't sent an owl in two weeks and I'm getting worried. He won't answer his friends letters and I fear he may be in some sort of trouble. Would you please go down and check on him?" Dumbeldore asked with his wide, twinkling blue eyes that no one could possible say no to.

"Why can't you do it Albus, I'm sure Potter would much rather you coming." I argued, glaring at him.

"I can't I have to go immediately to America to discuss Voldemort's rise with the Prime Minister. Thank you Severus this means so much to me!" Dumbeldore exclaimed not giving me a chance to say no.

I huffed in irritation. "Fine. I'll have to take Draco with me, I don't want to leave him alone in case his father comes looking for him." I snapped coldly storming out of Dumbeldore's office.

When I reached the dungeons I found Draco still brewing the potion I had asked him to make.  
"What did Dumbeldore want?" He asked curiously. He really had grown up over the years with his now wild blonde hair, no longer slicked back and his dark muggle clothes. He had really changed after what happened at his father's.

"We have to go check on Potter because Dumbeldore thinks might be in trouble." I told him wearily, sighing as I put on my cloak.

Draco didn't say a word as he followed me out of the school so we could apparate. Once we were in Little Whington he finally spoke.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He hasn't been answering letters from his friends, probably to busy being spoiled." I answered bitterly.

When I finally found Potter's house we walked up to the door and politely rang the doorbell. The door opened revealing a very fat muggle.

"What do you want?" He asked suspiciously and rather rudely.

"We are here to see Harry Potter." I explained raising an eyebrow at the man I assumed was Potter's Uncle. How could they possibly be related?

"Who's at the door sweetums?" Called a high pitched voice and Petunia Dursely came to the door and instantly glared at me.

"Severus what are you doing here!" She asked irritated.

"Here to see your nephew." I answered coldly.

"HE ISN'T HERE YOU FREAK! GO AWAY!" The fat man that was her husband roared at me and he tried to shove the door closed. With a flick of my wand it fell of the hinges.

"I'll be the judge of the that." I snarled and walked in with Draco at my heels.

"H-h-e ran away Snape!" Petunia told me looking guilty.

I raised an eyebrow. "Then I'll just have a look around." I told her pointing my wand at her and she backed away. Something didn't feel quite right.

I looked around the living room to see the only pictures were of a fat, pink boy. No signs that Potter even lived here showed.

"Do you think he is here?" Draco asked me curiously.  
"No clue." I answered climbing up the stairs. There were three doors, I tried the first one. It was the master bedroom, no sign of Potter. The next was full of video games but instead of Potter I found the fat pink boy from all the pictures. The last one was a door with several dead bolts on it.

Raising my eyebrows I unlocked the door and looked inside to get the shock of my life. Blood covered the floor, some old and dry and some fresh patches of crimson. Only a bed filled the empty, bloody room and on the bed lay a broken, bleeding, and dead looking Harry Potter.

I rushed forward Draco at my heels. Cuts covered his body, his shirt was torn and soaked in blood. He was as pale as I had ever seen him, and skinnier then had ever looked. His glasses were long broken, and bruises covered his body.

Cuts covered his arms and I could see a pocket knife grasped in his hand. Th other cuts on his back and chest I could tell were from a belt though. He was wheezing in his sleep like he had a broken rib.

"Oh Merlin." Draco whispered. He looked like Draco did when I had found him, only worse, much worse.

"Draco can you carry him, I have a few things to say to the muggles downstairs and it might involve my hands." I asked quietly, my tone filled with deadly rage. I knew it was them, why else would they tell me he wasn't here. Draco nodded and scooped Potter up in his arms, bridal style. The knife tumbled out of his hands when he was picked up, clattering to the floor.

Potter's eyes fluttered open for a moment and the brilliant emerald gems that I was used to seeing were dead and dull looking.

"Pffesor? Malfoy?" Potter mumbled slurring his words.

"Its okay Potter, we're getting you out of here." I heard Draco tell him reassuringly and I was surprised at Draco's maturity.

Potter looked on the door of death, there was no time to go face the muggles. I took a hold of Draco's arm and we apparated back to Hogwarts ground ad hurried inside towards the infirmary.

"POPPY! MINERVA!" I roared as we entered the Hospital Wing. They always spent their time together here during the summer, sending out the letters to first years.

"What is it Severus!" Poppy snapped, then she saw Harry as Draco placed him down on the nearest bed. "Merlin!" She shouted and rushed over, starting to do tests, grabbing potions. Minerva came out shocked as well.

"What happened?" She asked horrified.

"Dumbeldore sent me to check on him, it was his relatives I believe. They tried to tell me he wasn't there and I found him locked in his room like this." I told her bitterly wishing I could rip the muggles throats out.

No matter how much I hated Potter, he didn't deserve this and to think of all the years I had thought his relatives spoiled him. Had they really just been doing this to him all year?  
"Oh Merlin, there monsters." Poppy whispered tears in her eyes and I looked over to see what she meant.

On Potter's back was a huge scar spelling out the word freak.

"He shows signs of rape, definite abuse. Plus he's sick." Poppy went off, her voice rising in anger.

"Rape?" Draco asked with a terrified look. Poppy nodded gravelly.

"I'll kill those no good muggles!" Minerva snarled, eyes full of hate.

"What is he sick with?" I asked curiously.

"This isn't good. Not good at all. He has the wizards flu, we have all been exposed to it so by tomorrow we will all be sick." She announced grimly.

**Harry's Pov**

I opened to see someone was picking me up and what was surprising it was Draco Malfoy. Though he looked different. His pale blonde hair was tousled messily, no longer slicked back perfectly, and he looked taller and more muscular.

I stared into his gray stormy eyes and wondered what he was doing here. Then I saw Snape next to me, staring at me looking shocked and angry.

"Pffesor? Malfoy?" I mumbled sleepily feeling the knife slip from my fingers and clatter to the floor.

"Its okay Potter, we're getting you out of here." Malfoy reassured me and we apparated away. Malfoy carried me up to Hogwarts, Snape beside us and all the while I mused why Draco Malfoy and Snape would save me.

But it didn't really matter, they were my saviors. He was my savior, I thought as I fell back into unconsciousness in his arms, feeling safe. A foreign feeling to me. I hadn't felt safe in a long, long, long time.

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	3. Secrets

**Sick at Hogwarts**

**Chapter Three: Secrets**

**Harry's POV**

I groggily opened my eyes only to shut them instantly as the bright light hit them. I tried to squint them open, wondering where I was. This couldn't be the Dursley's, too bright and quiet. Then the memory hit me. Me being beaten and sick being found by none other then my most hated Professor and my tormentor, Draco Malfoy.

How would I ever live this down? Surely Malfoy and Snape would have spread it all over the Wizarding World. The next Daily Prophet would have the headline "Boy-Who-Lives is Boy-Who's-Abused!"

I groaned covering my eyes slightly as they adjusted to the bright light and then I found myself in the Hospital Wing the familiar face of Draco Malfoy staring down at me with a curious look. I jumped up into the air with a startled cry and landed on the floor.

Malfoy seemed to think this was hilarious and started laughing. Madame Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall, and Snape rushed out of the little office to find me on the floor and Malfoy laughing. I glared up at him.

"Harry! You're awake!" Madame Pomfrey shouted in glee.

\"And on the floor?" McGonagall questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Just admiring the nice floors." I joked as I got back up onto the bed, wincing slightly at the pressure on my wounds, hoping no one noticed. Everyone did, fantastic.

Professor McGonagall smiled warmly at me. "Good morning Harry, how are you feeling." She asked me wearily and I noticed her eyes seemed glassy and dull and she looked paler then usual like she was sick. Actually all the faces hovering over me looked sick. Madame Pomfrey, Snape, even Malfoy.

"Fine, how are you all?" I asked suspiciously.

Madame Pomfrey smiled slightly. "We're all sick like you. You had the wizard's flu and it's immediately contagious without the antidote right away. So for the next week we'll all be sick, us adults will be hit harder with it then you and Draco so we all have to work together to get better since all the Healers are busy with all of the fallen Aurors thanks to Voldemort." She explained fluttering around me, handing me potions to drink.

I grimaced in guilt and was about to apologize when the three adults stopped me with a stern look, even Snape.

"It wasn't your fault Harry." Professor McGonagall told me gently laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Well Potter it seems after we all get better you'll be staying here with us for the summer." Snape announced and I felt myself blush at the underlying message, 'well you're Uncle is abusive so you have to stay here for the summer.'

"Oh and Harry I bandaged all of your wounds but they need to heal for three days so you have three more days of pain coming. Ask for a Pain Reliever whenever you feel too much pain." Madame Pomfrey told me smiling gently.

I looked away and nodded, not wanting to think about how they had all seen my cuts and my scars. Had they seen the 'freak' scar? Had they seen the self-mutilation scars that covered my wrists? Had they seen the bruises in private places? Did they know all of my secrets?

"And Potter we will be having a talk at dinner." Snape announced with a raised eyebrow as if he had heard my thoughts. I scowled up at him and wished nothing more that I could just sink into the ground and disappear.

I closed my eyes pretending it was just from the brightness and suddenly I heard everyone gasp and Madame Pomfrey scream.  
"Harry! Harry where did you go?" Professor McGonagall called frantically. I opened my eyes wondering if they had all gone insane. I hadn't gone anywhere!

They gasped if I had appeared out of nowhere. Madame Pomfrey was feeling my head and Snape was studying me with a grim gaze.

"What are you talking about I never left!" I asked confused and slightly irritated.

"You disappeared my dear boy!" Professor McGonagall told me frantically.

"It's his magic, it's probably messed up because of the wizard flu. What were you thinking about just now Potter?" Snape questioned curiously.

"That I wanted to disappear." I answered in awe as I realized they were telling the truth.

"Well just stay calm and everything should be alright okay? You and Draco better go get some sleep, its about three in the morning. We'll be in the staff quarantine so we can actually get some rest." Madame Pomfrey announced and with that they left, leaving me alone with Draco Malfoy or in other words my savior as I had thought of him before.

Malfoy sat down on the bed next to me, bouncing slightly then he looked over at me as if he wanted to say something.

"You aren't going-" I started to say but he started speaking at the exact same time.

"Did you-" He trailed off too. "You go first." He told me actually sounding polite.

I took a nervous, shaky breath. "Are you going to tell people..you know about the-" I trailed off turning away feeling completely ashamed. I was a wizard, I could preform magic, and I beat Lord Voldemort when I was one but I couldn't stop my Uncle from hurting me?

Malfoy actually laughed at this. It wasn't his usual snobby, I'm going to make your life hell laughter it was just wow you're hilarious laughter. It only confused me more.

"Potter listen I will never tell anyone about you being abused or anything like that and I'm sure you find that very hard to believe so let em explain why before you go and interrupt me." Malfoy responded grinning. I waited silently for him to go on.

"I live here with Snape because my father abused me too. I was almost dead and Severus found me and saved me. And trust me if I ever said anything about this he would tell my secret too. He doesn't like abuse, he takes it seriously no matter who is on the receiving line." Malfoy explained killing the next question on my lips, 'why would Snape not want people to know?'

"So its a deal then." I announced holding out my hands towards the blonde Slytherin. "I won't tell and you won't tell." I added and he looked at me for a curious moment. I frowned and started lowering my hand feeling foolish but he grabbed it quickly and shook it smirking at me.

"Deal Potter." He responded

"Now what were you saying?" I asked him and a serious look overtook him.

"Did you make those cuts on your arms? Do you cut yourself?" He asked me and I felt my world spinning around me. He knew, they knew. My life was over. I closed my eyes wishing ironically that I had the pocket knife to relieve some of the pressure that was building up inside of me.

I didn't notice the ground around me was shaking until Malfoy came over and sat next to me, trying to calm me down.

"Harry snap out of it." He begged me staring me straight in the eye. Silver to green.

Suddenly everything was calm and we waited to see if the adults would come out, they didn't. It seemed the earthquake was only around me.

The world stopped shaking and I found I was in Malfoy's arms and for the second time in his arms I felt once again safe.

"You did, didn't you. God Potter, if I knew we were this alike maybe I would have been nicer to you." I heard him mumble and my mind snapped awake.

"Wait what? We're alike?" I asked him confused.

Malfoy looked at me, sadness filling those silver orbs. "Yeah Potter, I used to cut myself too."

My world crumbled down before me and in finally realized Draco Malfoy, Ice Prince of Slytherin is not perfect.

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	4. Scars Never Fade

**Sick at Hogwarts**

**Chapter Four: Scars Never Fade**

**Previous: **Malfoy looked at me, sadness filling those silver orbs. "Yeah Potter, I used to cut myself too."

My world crumbled down before me and in finally realized Draco Malfoy, Ice Prince of Slytherin is not perfect.

**Harry's POV**

I awoke the next morning to a cold hand pressed against my forehead and I was surprised to find Draco Malfoy hovering above me.

"Your temperature is too high, drink this." He told me softly when he noticed I was awake and he handed me a glass vial of green liquid. I made a face of distaste which lit the blonde's face up in a smile as I drank it.

I looked around to see a distant glow of sunlight coming from the windows.  
"What time is it?" I asked him as he took the vial from my hand.

"Almost dinner, around seven. Madame Pomfrey says you can go take a shower before dinner." He told me and I nodded, a feeling of dread overtaking me as I remembered Snape had said we would talk at dinner.

I got up slowly and the world around me span, literally. The room started spinning and I saw Malfoy fall to the floor, potions spilling and glasses breaking. The three adults rushed out looking weak but they stayed in the doorway as to not fall into the spinning room.

"Potter!" Malfoy called and I realized my magic was doing this. I tried to stop but I was so dizzy I felt myself falling and suddenly I was being held up by two strong arms and the room stood still and I stared, dazed up at the worried face of Draco Malfoy.

He held me up, his arms wrapped around my shoulder and waist. The heat from his touch felt so good. I looked away and blushed.

"Sorry." I mumbled and he let me go.

"Are you two okay?" Professor McGonagall asked us as the three adults rushed into the room.

"Yeah we're fine." Malfoy answered as he plucked little shards of glass he had received from falling with the glass, potion vials out of his arm.

"You're bleeding!" I told him feeling ashamed.

He chuckled lightly as he plucked the last pieces of glass from his arm.

"Barely. You're too powerful for your own good, Potter." He told me lightly and teasingly.

My stomach twisted and guilt. The adults left back to their rooms after seeing we were all right and I went to the Hospital Wing showers.

I was about to go in when a strong hand grabbed my arm and held me back gently.

"You know its fine, right Potter?"Malfoy asked looking concerned as his eyes searched my face.

"Yeah." I mumbled and slipped into the bathroom feeling less guilty and now completely confused. Malfoy was worried about me? I guess people can change, I thought as I stepped into warm water and let it soak over my body.

The water stung my open cuts but I didn't mind. At least it took my mind away from everything. But like every other good thing the peace and quite in the shower didn't last. When I was showered and dressed in some clothes Malfoy had surprisingly left out for me since we had left my trunk at my Uncle's house it was dinner time and I knew I would have to face everyone.

I walked out in black jeans and a tight blue shirt to see they had conjured a table in the center of the Hospital Wing and it was filled with steaming food.

I sat down in between Professor McGonagall and Malfoy as everyone greeted me. We dug into the meal and everything seemed normal and fine as the adults discussed the Ministry of Magic. Then Snape looked over to me.

"So Potter tell us when it all started?" Snape asked me giving me a curious look.

I sucked in a breath and decided to go with the dumb approach.

"When what started?" I asked not looking up at him.

"The abuse, don't try to lie we put a potion that makes you tell the truth in your drink." Snape answered smoothly, glaring at me with those hard eyes.

All eyes were on me but I didn't look up.

"When I was six, when my accidental magic kicked in." I answered feeling the urge to tell the truth.

"And he did it just because you were a wizard?" Professor McGonagall asked looking furious.

I nodded silently.

"And the cuts on your arms and wrists, you made them?" Madame Pomfrey asked looking worried and her usual motherly self.

"Some, some were made by my Uncle."

"Why'd you do it?" Professor McGonagall asked, tears in her eyes.

I shrugged wishing I would just be able to disappear, luckily this time I didn't. "To distract myself from everything else and because it felt good being able to control the pain for once." I admitted hollowly hating this.

I wish I could cut myself right now. I wish I could slice my knife into my skin but it was back at Privet Drive. I didn't notice a burning and stinging pain in my wrists until Malfoy shouted my name.

My skin was being sliced open by an invisible force and I knew instantly that my magic was doing this. I tried to shake it off by shaking my arms but it didn't help only made my blood roll down the sides of arms and down onto the white floor.

I felt my breath quicken and my mind swing out control as the cuts got deeper and deeper until blood had covered me.

Snape rushed over to me and took my arms in a tight grip and mumbled a spell. Suddenly it stopped and I was left feeling empty.

"What did you do?" I asked looking up at him curiously.

"I blocked your magic for a few hours, it should be back by morning." He answered looking actually worried. To see that expression on the man that hated me was almost laughable. I didn't laugh though I was too busy watching Malfoy bandage the new cuts on my arms.

If my magic wasn't blocked I was sure I would have disappeared again.

Soon the commotion died down and we were all calm again.

"Well, whether you like it or not, you're going to stop hurting yourself for good." Snape told me with a stern look and I was surprised he actually cared. I had definitely stepped into an alternate universe.

"You showed signs of rape Harry, did your Uncle rape you?" Madame Pomfrey asked quietly

I felt myself spin out control again as memories resurfaced. A bruising touch, a dark laugh, and pain beyond anything you can imagine.

"Yes." I hissed out the answer wishing I wasn't here. Wishing they had never saved me or found me. I wished they would just leave me alone.

Suddenly a familiar cold hand pressed into mine under the table and I looked over at Malfoy to see he looked concerned again. He squeezed my hand and weirdly I felt slightly calmer. He was dragging me back down to earth and out of the horrid memories that would plague my mind forever.

I squeezed back and I was glad Malfoy was next to me. He really was my savior.

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